At the time of writing, I am fourteen years of age, and can confidently say
that I’ve been through the dissatisfaction (to say the least) of a form of Obsessive
Compulsive Behavioral Disorder (OCBD). The reason I say this with relief is
that I am getting over it - something I could never have thought of just a fortnight
ago. OCBD is a psychological annoyance which combines a number of dis-benefits.
I speak from my personal experience in the following pages, and the knowledge
I have gathered along the way.
I live in the UK, and have for some years had an ‘obsessive behavior’ continuously
going backwards and forwards. For example, I might be walking down the street,
and I felt as if I had to got back. I would type on the keyboard and delete
it and retype it. People noticed this, particularly my Mum, who offered to help,
she tried to help, she ‘threatened’ to take me to the doctors. But would I listen?
No. I felt as if I could overcome the problem on my own. So why did I do it?
Well, at the time of me getting this problem, it was because I felt that bad
would happen if I didn’t go back. Silly looking back on it now. I can laugh
it off. But the evolving problem was, to my ignorance, to get intolerably worse.
I didn’t want to see a doctor, as you wouldn’t think there was particularly
much wrong yourself, would you? It seemed just like a bad habit.
About a year ago, the problem, after dying down a little, worsened and worsened
to the extent that, about a month ago, I felt so fed up, depressed and bad with
the problem that I couldn’t go into town, I couldn’t go out, and even getting
out of bed was a hassle. At this point, the problem had evolved to me having
bad, and unwanted thoughts (not like schizophrenia, or however it is spelled.
I had them obsessively, but they were ‘mine’). At one time, I felt as if I had
to tell my Mum these thoughts to be truthful to her, but as I realized that
I could cope with this, the problem worsened. I now felt as if I had to go through
the numerical combinations of these thoughts to my mother, and as though I was
making other people go through them by doing things, and so I felt I had to
tell her them. So the problem got to the peak where I felt as though when I
though the word ‘everything’ (which might have implemented going through the
combinations) I had to go back to the physical position I was in when I said
this, and adjoin the words ‘to do with nothing’ to this. Stupid. Until you’re
experiencing the problem yourself.
So, at about a month ago, you’re saying, “what did I do?”? Well, I agreed to
see the G.P., who referred me onto a specialist. Long wait, but I got to see
her. Funny looking lady - big glasses, sat in weird positions - but not half
as weird as the students sat by her, I tell you! The good that came out of that
one session was a recommendation for the prescription of Prozac. To tell you
the truth, I was scared of taking the syrup. A long list of side affects - basically
including aches, pains, tiredness, sickness, heart failure, etc.. - were warned
of, but none arrived particularly. A fortnight on, I can agree that Prozac is
something of a wonder drug. Others say it, too; it’s partially designed to stop
OCD - which came to my surprise. Prozac stops or encourages the dispersion of
chemicals in the brain, something which gives me the idea that adolescence has
something to do with my case. I’m 14, you see.
Now I can look back at the problem and say that it could have made me a stronger,
more understanding personality, but I’m new to taking the drug and all I can
say so far is that it’s worked. I can cycle to town, type freely; they all sound
easy, but when you have this problem, you understand it’s an achievement of
recovery - the road to which I am now on.
A Mother's Story - One Year On
x was off Prozac a month later, but miraculously the problem still seemed much
under control. Looking back I can say that x's OCD was probably one of the worst
periods of his and his family's life. It affected every one of us in one way
or another and I can sincerely sympathize with anyone trying to cope with this
I've added this bit on to offer encouragement and hope for anyone else with
OCD. At the time it seems as though it will go on forever, and the light at
the end of the tunnel is not even visible. But it CAN improve. I wouldn't say
x doesn't have problems even now, but he seems to be coping with them the best
way he can. We have long periods of 'normal' behavior and at the moment his
social life has never been better, it has improved a thousand-fold. He still
does odd things (for want of a better word), but they don't seem to bother him
as much. I think his breakthrough came, not with Prozac but the counseling that
he was given and the important step he took of writing his story (above).
Three Years On
(Touch wood) I'm happy to report that we survived what can only be described
as a living nightmare and three years on x is a well-adjusted 17 year old who
is studying A levels and learning to drive. He has found his niche in life and
I have every confidence that he will be extremely successful in the future.
If anyone reading this account is living with someone with OCD then please be
assured, it CAN be overcome. Maybe not completely but certainly to the point
where life seems more bearable. I still think that the counseling helped far
more than any drugs could have ever done but I know from experience that this
condition affects the whole family in one way or another and that at the time
you think things will never improve. Well, they do.
Sign Up for Full Access
Access hundreds of theories, approaches, study and experiment overviews, plus a range of psychology guides including Body Language Reading and How to Interpret Your Dreams.
Psychologist World is an online magazine dedicated to psychology, providing theory and experiment overviews, popular psychology articles and practical psychology guides. For details of content available with membership click here.